What did I want out of life? For the longest time, I thought I knew. I’ve always been the person who puts family first. I didn’t crave “me time.” I didn’t enjoy being alone. My family was my joy, and I cherished every moment we spent together.

But somewhere along the way, I forgot something important: you can’t pour from an empty cup.

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Pouring Until Empty

For years, I poured myself into others. Family. Church. Scouts. Friends. Volunteering. My cup was constantly tipped, constantly emptied. I told myself that was love, that was service, that was what I was supposed to do. But eventually, you wake up and realize you’re holding an empty cup and you don’t even recognize the person you’ve become.

And then you wonder: would things have been different if I had filled my own cup first? Would the events that shook my life have cut so deeply if I had learned to take care of myself along the way?

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Searching for Fulfillment

As the kids grew older and needed me less, I found myself restless. I stayed busy, filling my calendar with volunteer work, thinking that would make me whole again. But volunteering can be tricky. People don’t always appreciate a “doer” who steps in and gets things done. Over time, I pulled back, stopped jumping in, and started protecting myself.

Even then, I wasn’t happy. The stress of moving, the strain in my marriage, the daily grind of homeschooling battles — it all piled up until I felt like I was drowning.

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The Turning Point

Looking back now, I see the gift that came out of that season of brokenness. For the first time in over a decade, I stepped back into the workforce.

It wasn’t glamorous. It wasn’t full-time. But it was exactly what I needed. I found a part-time position with a wonderful nonprofit that gave me the chance to use a part of my brain I hadn’t used in years. A place where the work I finished actually stayed finished — unlike laundry, dishes, or the endless upkeep of a house and six acres. It was fulfilling in a way I didn’t know I was missing.

Would I have taken that step if the struggles of 2023 hadn’t happened? Probably not. I would have kept trudging along, overwhelmed and running on empty.

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God’s Work in the Broken Pieces

It amazes me how God can take the pieces of what feels like a life completely shattered and rearrange them into something stronger.

The betrayal hurt. The season was hard. But it forced me to ask questions, to reevaluate, to rebuild. And in the rebuilding, I found not just trust in my marriage again, but trust in myself — in my ability to grow, to adapt, and to keep moving forward.

I’m still learning. Still healing. Still filling my cup in ways I never thought I needed. But I can see now that even when it feels like the world is falling apart, God is quietly working in the background, putting the pieces together for good.

3 Things Betrayal Taught Me About Trust

Fill your cup first.
You can’t pour into your family, work, or relationships if you’re running on empty. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish — it’s necessary.

Hard seasons can redirect you.
What feels like the end of everything can sometimes be the start of something new — a job, a purpose, or a path you wouldn’t have chosen otherwise.

God works in the broken pieces.
Even when life feels shattered, He’s quietly arranging the pieces into something stronger and more beautiful than before.